Why does God allow me to keep on being sinful?
I don’t think I’m the only one who has ever asked that.
I love Jesus. I want to give Him my all and my best, and I want my all to BE my best. But it isn’t. Not even close. My all includes all this sin such as selfishness, pride, conceit, impurity of various kinds, ingratitude, idolatry, etc. I know I am forgiven and that the guilt for all of my sins is washed away by Jesus’s blood shed on the cross. I know I have eternal life by the power of His resurrection.
But… Some days I really just wish that instead of going through the process of becoming holy, that He would just snap His fingers and make me perfect all at once. I wish I never said mean things, did foolish things, made myself the center of my universe, idolized things/people besides Him, gave into temptations, etc. I wish I was like Him fully, right now. Some days I don’t want the process of being molded; I just want the end product.
As I was thinking about that tonight, God opened my mind to some things…
Suppose He granted my wish right now. It would stunt my growth in the truly important things He cares most about me learning. If He shortcutted what He’s doing in my life and snapped His fingers to make my attitudes, thoughts, words, and actions totally in line with Him, then my growth would be stunted in these areas:
Experiencing the mighty depths of His grace.
Seeing the vastness of His patience.
Knowing the tenderness of His mercy.
Being overwhelmed by the power and steadfastness of His compassion.
Standing awash in awe of the relentlessness of His pursuit of me.
Reveling in the unmerited honor of wearing His robes (instead of my own).
Realizing the lengths His love will go for me.
Those matter much more to Him than making me act perfectly, speak perfectly, think perfectly, and feel perfectly right this very minute – because life is all about Him, not me. It’s about who He is, not what I do. It’s about being in an intimate relationship with Him, knowing Him more truly, loving Him more deeply, not following a list of rules. He wants to make me perfect and will, but He will do so in His timing. His main goal for me is not perfection; He could have prevented Eve and Adam from ever tasting the forbidden fruit. His main goal for me is abiding in Him, becoming perfect by choosing Him and becoming one with Him like the oneness of a husband and wife. Then I will be perfect, yet my perfection will not be from myself; it will simply be His reflection shining in my eyes.
the Beloved's joy 
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